


Completely Yours

by onlyhereforellick



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Get your tissues ready, basically part 2 to my other post-ep, post-ep 17x16 in a way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22826590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyhereforellick/pseuds/onlyhereforellick
Summary: If only he could see her, if only he could talk to her—make sure she’s happy, make sure she’s safe...
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59





	Completely Yours

**Author's Note:**

> I actually cried writing this even though I knew the outcome. Don’t hate me.
> 
> Oh, and it’s a part 2 to “Lucky Day” (read that one first if you haven’t, this will make more sense 😉)

_“One year, Nick. You’d be on assignment one entire year.”_

_A firm nod giving away none of the turmoil raging inside him._

_“You’re okay with that?”_

_“I don’t really have a choice, do I Director?”_

His rhetorical question had gone unanswered- not like he needed one any way. They were orders, and on a team- you followed orders. He’d never had a problem with taking undercover assignments before, so why did this one seem to gut him like a sick hunting trophy?

_Ellie_.

He knew the reason, and he knew he didn’t like it. Less than a week after their tender kiss on the rooftop that promised so much more, Nick was being put in deep cover. No outside contact, no phones, no comms, no surveillance. He was to speak to no one he knew for an entire year- three hundred and sixty five days- eight thousand seven hundred and sixty hours. Zero contact with the life he’d come to love for the past four years.

Mercifully, the Director let him tell the team. They were allowed to know the bare bone details—he was needed for a complex bust that was sure to implode the Hill. Given the high ranking government officials they believed to be involved, no one but Nick and the Director knew his true assignment. No one, not even Gibbs, was allowed to know he wasn’t actually going far. Infiltrating the President’s Secret Service to take down a suspected naturalized Russian spy would prove to be his most dangerous mission yet. And his loved ones couldn’t know- even when he was only moving 10 miles down the road. So close, yet so far.

Ellie, well she took it...he wasn’t sure to be honest. Pain seemed to slice across her face but it was gone in a fraction of a second. He noticed the shift in her eyes, instantly hardening- almost as if she’d gone through this before. Had replaced her well-worn armor that protected her from pain. That armor he’d hoped she would never have to use because of him, but here they were. The iron-clad breastplate donned, protecting her most prized possession—her heart. Nick knew how wonderful it felt to hold that heart, to be responsible for it. He’d bore that responsibility for only a week and it was the job of a lifetime. He’d hoped it would still be his when he returned in a year.

But she hadn’t fought, she hadn’t cried, she barely batted an eye. If he hadn’t known her so well, he would have thought she took it perfectly fine. Yet her mask was firmly in place when he asked her about it.

_“Wh- what are you thinking, Ellie? I don’t have to go,” he pleaded._

_“Nick don’t- of course you have to go.” She’d looked away as she went on, “It’s your job.” A normal person wouldn’t have noticed the slight crack in her voice._

_He’d taken her hand and willed her to look back at him, “Ellie, I won’t go if you don’t want me to.” They’d only been official for a week, but Nick would stay. He’d stay in a heartbeat for her._

_Her eyes traveled back to his, devoid of all emotion, “Nick, you’ve given your life to NCIS- you wouldn’t risk that. You shouldn’t risk that.”_

_His earlier words stung hearing them parroted back at him. He may have seen himself if Art, but he was different..wasn’t he?_

And yet three months later he still found himself sitting in a lofty Capitol Hill office, perched on green velvet fingering the gold plated framed settee. His trained eyes never broke from their assigned watch, but his mind- it wandered. Daily. Wandered to Ellie, to the team—what they were doing, what case they were stumped on, what color sweater she was wearing that day.

It pained him each day to be separated without contact. He knew without a doubt she would stay true to their promise and wait for him, but he also knew a year without contact was a long, long time.

If only he could see her, if only he could talk to her—make sure she’s happy, make sure she’s safe...

* * *

The first time it happened, she’d been taken by surprise. Black spots clouded her vision and suddenly her knees buckled. She hit the pavement she’d been jogging on in a matter of milliseconds. Ellie wasn’t sure how long it had lasted, but the sound of a dog barking in the distance broke through the black. Stirring, she examined her now raw palms and ripped leggings.

She’d never fainted before, and honestly- she wasn’t sure why she started now. Maybe she’d pushed herself too far? Maybe she hadn’t eaten enough before coming out?

A quick shake of her head only elicited the tiniest bit of throbbing so she pushed her heavy limbs off the ground. Turning back the way she came, she decided it was time to head home, get some water and food. Then, then she’d feel better.

* * *

Nick was getting closer—he’d eliminated many of the possible suspects. It was down to the final three- all in extremely prominent positions on the Hill. The lack of any check-ins, drops, communications, any of it- was jarring. He’d never experience such deep cover. Never been so cut off from the rest of the world. An undiscovered island in the middle of the ocean, somehow hidden in plain sight.

He yearned to be with her, though. Just to hear her giggle ring out at his joke. Look into those golden ringed eyes that sparkled when she smiled. Nick had it bad, and he could care less. He’d finally found the one he loved, he wouldn’t let anything come between them- not even a year-long undercover assignment.

* * *

The fainting spells turned into periods of bone deep exhaustion. She’d lose consciousness for a brief time and then slowly, the recovery time began to lengthen. She couldn’t bounce back up, continue with her jog. She could barely move her feet afterwards.

She’d hid it from the team until they were out hunting down a lead. One moment her adrenaline kicked in to chase the fleeing subject, the next the world was midnight black and she had no feeling in her legs. The numbness traveled from her toes to her thighs, leaving a trail of pins and needles in it’s wake. McGee and Gibbs found her in the suspect’s backyard after she’d ruined covering the back.

Ellie noticed the disapproving look in Gibbs’ face, but she also saw the worry, the pure fear that an otherwise healthy agent was suddenly- not.

Except, how did she tell them she’d been fainting the last three months now?

* * *

He wasn’t counting down the days, truly he wasn’t. His entire being was focused on the case. He swore.

He didn’t know there were one hundred and twenty two days remaining; he certainly didn’t know there were two thousand nine hundred and twenty eight hours remaining until he saw her.

His case was closing in, only a few more months and they could make their bust. He could be home free to Ellie.

_So why did it feel like time was crawling and running out at the same time?_

* * *

They didn’t go away. She thought surely a hospital stay would solve the problem. They doctors would discover the reason, figure out why she out-of-the-blue started to faint. No- instead, instead it got worse.

Ellie was numb in her extremities, yet she felt like the soles of her feet and palms of her hand were holding a branding iron. She was losing her hair, yet she’d never felt heavier. The constant thirst, yet unrelenting nausea. Her life was a series of contradictions.

The rhythmic beeping controlled Ellie’s thoughts. Despite the fog in her head, that rhythm kept time, kept her sanity. It was a funny thing- knowing you were dying. Knowing your body was slowly shutting down. Knowing despite all the fight in the world- no one could figure out why.

Many theories had been passed around, none panned out. Currently the working theory was poison. Ellie was being murdered little by little each day. And not for valiant efforts- they could not figure out by what.

She thought back to her conversation with Nick on a rooftop—the hope that laced their words a distant memory.

_“Life isn’t usually the hero-saves-the-damsel story, is it?”_

_“We can have the story we deserve. We can have the exciting, beautiful, devoted love story, Ellie.”_

A sad, twisted fate was soon on the horizon and they never saw it coming. Nick claimed one could bend fate...unfortunately it seemed hers was straight and unyielding.

A raspy deep breath for some type of strength, Ellie used her weak arms to push her frail frame up in bed. She reached out to her side table, taking a page from Annie’s book- she’d write him a letter. Nick wouldn’t get it for another couple months, but it was all she had left. She could only hope Nick’s fate didn’t mirror Art’s, like hers did Annie’s.

_My Dearest Nick,_

_My hands are trembling as I write this to you. I never thought it would come to this. I never thought I’d be writing a letter, let alone this letter, to you. But, in honor of the past- I’ll treasure the wonderment of a love letter._

_By the time you get this, I’ll be gone._

_Please don’t beat yourself up- there was nothing you could do. Nothing anyone could do, it turns out. Fate doesn’t bend, Nick. The hero doesn’t always save the damsel, but the damsel will always love the hero—of that I’m sure._

_They say it’s better to have loved than lost, and I wholeheartedly agree. Loving you was one hell of a journey, one I’ll cherish even beyond death._

_Nick, if there’s one thing I regret, it’s not telling you sooner. I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you. Love at first sight, crazy right? You captured my heart even when I didn’t want to give it away. You’ve kept in your pocket this entire time, and now- now you’ll have it forever. Take good care of it, Nick. I leave it with you as I pass into the unexpected. Hold onto it until you find someone worthy of your loyal grip._

_And when it’s time, I’ll understand. When you find your white chrysanthemum, Nick- cultivate it, tend to it, treasure it. You deserve nothing short of the most devoted love for a lifetime._

_I love you, always._

_Completely yours,_  
_Ellie_

Her arms shook with the effort it took to hold her hand to the paper. The pen fell from her fingers as she tried to place it gently on the table. With feeble, shaky motions she folded the perfumed paper, bringing it to her lips she pressed a delicate kiss to the scrolling name on the front. _Her Nick, always._

Placing the letter next to her bed, she called the nurse. Moments before her eyes fluttered shut she gestured to the letter on the side, the man with unnervingly kind eyes seamlessly moved to take the letter. Ellie took solace in knowing Nick would one day read her last words, the only ones that truly mattered.

* * *

Ten months in and he’d about imploded. Nick practically vibrated with nervous energy. Something just felt _off_. He’d effectively narrowed down the pool to one suspect. Just something didn’t seem quite right, like there was a piece to the puzzle he was missing. The Speaker of the House, he was obviously the shot caller, but for some reason, Nick kept returning to this sinking feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach- like he wasn’t seeing a key component.

_How did he get the drugs_ , Nick continued to come back to that question. He had no connections that Nick had found to the actual meth he was distributing. _How_...

It wasn’t until the Speaker attended a family soirée for a young female cousin in the family. Nick noted a tense relationship between a man in hospital scrubs and the Speaker. They were having a hushed argument off to the side of the dance floor, one that was getting more and more animated by the moment. Nick casually made his perimeter pass, slowing just within earshot.

_“She’s a federal agent! You idiot...”_

_“Relax. I know what I’m doing.”_

_A scoff, “Relax? You’re going to destroy everything I’ve worked diligently to create. Over what? Jealousy?” The last word was practically spat at the nurse._

_The man clearly was seething, Nick could practically see the smoke billowing from his ears, his teeth ground together so hard he was sure to need to see a dentist after._

_The Speaker didn’t bother waiting for a reply, the condescending tone dripping from his voice, “I knew I shouldn’t have involved you. You always were a fuck up, Boyd. Just like your mother.”_

Nick’s world stopped. It was as if watching a car crash in slow motion. Each piece of the twisted, gory fate crumpling together at once.

_Ellie_.

Nick ripped out his earwig and didn’t bother stopping to explain his spectacle as he sprinted out of the Castle gallery.

_He could be too late, she could already be dead._

Nick’s wayward thoughts betrayed his sanity. Peeling out into the deserted DC streets at this time of night, Nick floored it. The hospital was close given the ID badge on the nurse— _Boyd’s_ —uniform. Maybe, just maybe- he could get there in time. He could bend fate, save the damsel in distress, save Ellie.

* * *

Ellie drifted in and out of consciousness, the pain meds the nurse gave her right before taking her letter to Nick doing their job. It had been the only thing to help ease Ellie’s symptoms.

In her hazy state, she started to dream. The twinkling lights spinning around the room, a lively beat driven by a piano playing in the background. The crooning of a pining lover filling her senses as a foggy couple began to come into view. The woman donned a long knit dress, the fabric shimmering with woven gold strands. Her hair practically glowing in the lowlight on the dance floor, but not as much as her radiant smile directed to the handsome sailor leading her. He spun and dipped her effortlessly, as if they were made to be in each other’s arms- as if they done this for eternity.

The music slowed and dimmed as the couple paused their dance, Ellie wanted to shout for them to continue but no sound came from her lips. They turned to look at her all the same, a knowing smile reaching both of their eyes. The woman turned briefly to look at her partner, her smile broadening before returning her gaze to Ellie. The woman’s hand started to lift, and Ellie briefly thought she would invite her to dance with them. But as the soulful singer rung out the last hopeful notes, the woman spoke. Her voice seemed eerily familiar, tingling Ellie’s senses- like she knew this gorgeous woman she’d never met, “Go, make us proud, Ellie. You deserve it.”

The disco ball choose that moment to spin just right, hitting the stage lights perfectly to blind Ellie’s vision with a bright white light. Blinking her eyes in hopes of righting herself, Ellie found herself staring into the one face she thought she’d never see again.

“ _Nick_ ,” she gasped, barely audible.

His worried eyes stood out to her while his hands roamed over her—it was like he needed to check every piece of her, ensure every part of her was truly _there_. They finally settled, one hand cupping her face and the other intertwining her fingers in his. She followed the swallow down his throat, catching the anxious movement. His voice strangled when it did come out, “Oh, Ellie. I’m so sorry. Ellie, I’m so, so sorry.”

Her brows furrowed together in confusion, why was he apologizing? Didn’t he get her letter? It wasn’t his fault... “Nick—“ she tried but his thumb stopped her when it rubbed over her dry bottom lip.

“He’s gone now, B. We got him. Boyd’s gone- he can’t poison you anymore.” The deadly chill in his tone should’ve scared her, but she was stuck on something he said...

“Boyd?” her mind could only string together one word sentences apparently.

Nick looked pained, but he nodded. “He altered his appearance and posed as your nurse. He’s been poisoning you slowly for almost a year now. He- he, he wanted revenge, Ellie. For ghosting him.” That was the moment Nick broke, the sobs shook his frame as the tears rolled freely, splashing on the railing of her bed. His frame curled into a heap and he buried his head into her stomach. She could feel the strangled cries more than she could hear them. _He blamed himself_.

While weak, Ellie relented. She moved her hands to put as much pressure as she could under his shoulders, begging him to look at her. When he finally lifted, she did her best to stare him down. “Nick. It is not your fault—“ raising a finger sharply once he moved to protest, Ellie pushed on, “It is not your fault. Do not blame yourself for Boyd’s actions. I will not allow it. We have wasted too much time- precious, valuable time- without each other. I’ve loved you at first sight and denied myself way too long. I _refuse_ to let a lowlife sociopath tarnish our story. Okay?” She raised one eyebrow in question.

Nick’s facial features morphed from grief-stricken to relieved before her eyes. He answered her question with a declaration of his own, “I love you, Ellie. I love you so damn much.”

His mouth was on hers in an instant. He kept it tender and soft, knowing she didn’t have the strength, but the emotion behind it was raw and vulnerable and shook her to her core.

Breaking apart but resting his forehead to hers, she whispered back even though he already knew, “And I love you, Nick. Always and forever.”

Closing her eyes briefly, she sent the quickest of thank you’s up to her guardian angels—“ _We’ll do our best, Art & Annie. We’ll do our best_.”


End file.
